Hero
by katierosefun
Summary: [Post 2x14.] Being a hero isn't exactly all cracked up as it used to be – but ironically enough, it's Harry who has to remind Barry what being a hero really means.


I wrote this on the plane yesterday because hey, the shock from the latest _Flash_ episode suddenly caught up to me. I may or may not have stayed up late while writing this, too - I was jet-lagged and again, I just _needed to get over that ending in the latest episode. What even. What is this._

So here's some hurt and comfort for everyone, because we all love that, don't we? Enjoy!

* * *

 _Hero_

For the first time since Harry had been in STAR Labs, he felt at some peace.

Which was terrible.

Because while he was finally calmed down by the presence of his daughter by his side, everyone else was at wit's end – and all for the right reasons. It felt wrong for Harry to feel anything less than that same panic and yet, it only took one look at Jesse (who was now comfortable – or at least, as comfortable as a person on another Earth could be) to feel the dread in his stomach unclench.

And now, Harry was watching Jesse, who seemed all but just as frenzied as the rest of the STAR Labs team. She was sitting in between Cisco and Caitlin, occasionally offering a few words of hope. And while the situation seemed everything _but_ hopeful, the two seemed to respond to Jesse's words well. Harry had no doubt that his daughter would get along with them just fine. (And there was also the fact that Cisco had lent Jesse a STAR Labs sweatshirt – which, according to Barry, was the already a sign of friendliness.)

Speaking of Barry…

Harry turned round a little, spotting Barry lingering by the cortex. He had changed out of his uniform into casual clothes now, and though Harry had always known the speedster to be a cheerful person, Barry wasn't smiling now. If anything, Harry thought that their roles were rather switched – it almost seemed unnatural to see Barry hiding away from the rest of his friends.

And almost as though he had sensed being watched, Barry's eyes started to flit up just as Harry turned away. This sudden dismissive move sent a small prickle of shame crawling up the back of Harry's neck, though just as quickly as it came, Harry was quick to try to brush this feeling away. He, of all people, should know how it felt to want to be alone for a while. Barry couldn't be helped for now.

"Gotta admit – the cortex isn't entirely like what your office looks like," Harry heard Jesse say.

He looked up. Jesse was standing above the table Harry was sitting at – and though she looked much better since coming to this Earth, there were still dark half-moons sitting underneath Jesse's eyes. At this, Harry made a mental note to raid the linen closet.

"It's a little different," Harry replied with a brief smile. He hoped that Jesse would catch the message underneath his words – _this isn't that bad, right? Yes, we're away from home, but you can live with this for a while, right?_ He still remembered how distraught Jesse had been when they were about to leave – and Harry knew that she had every single right to feel so, but as long as Zoom was there…Harry wasn't going to risk his daughter ever again.

To Harry's relief, Jesse smiled back. It was a small, tentative one, but it was better than no smile at all.

"Caitlin and Cisco are great," Jesse added, casting the two scientists a fond look. "Only –" A puzzled look flickered across her face. "Why exactly do they call you _Harry_ all the time?"

"Long story."

"I'm sure." Jesse shook her head. Then, craning her neck, she murmured, "The guy who helped us out – the Flash – Barry, right?" Without missing a beat, she added, "Why's he…out there?"

Harry kept his eyes trained on the table. "He wants to be by himself." He shot his daughter a quick look. "What with…Jay and Zoom." Harry softened his voice, though whether it was so that Barry wouldn't accidentally hear him or…any other reason, he wasn't sure. "He's guilty. It's an instinct of his."

Jesse pressed her lips together. Casting the shadow a sad look, she asked, "Have you tried talking to him?"

Harry's head shot up. "What?"

Jesse lifted her shoulders. "When we were both stuck in Zoom's lair, he talked a little about you." There was a beat of silence. "He admires you. A ton." A corner of her lips quirked into a smile. "It gave me the impression that you guys at least…I don't know, at least interacted a _little_ before coming to rescue me? But right now, you're just…" Her voice drifted/

Harry didn't want to hear what was at the other end of that sentence, but he couldn't keep himself from asking, anyways. "I'm just what?"

There was nothing apologetic in Jesse's voice when she replied, "You're treating him like a stranger. Like you guys haven't just spent the last few weeks working together. I mean, according to Cisco, you were a part of a whole _ton_ of stuff down here – and there was a mention about a…shark meta?"

"I had to save him," Harry replied, nonchalant. He pretended to be busy with a computer (when really, the only thing he was doing was logging in and out of the Wifi). "Police officer tried shooting that meta a few times – didn't work out, and Barry wasn't exactly in good shape, either…and I had to make an introduction somehow."

"So you saved him."

"That's the romanticized version."

"Or you _saved_ him."

Harry looked up. "And your point is…?"

Jesse rolled her eyes. "Talk to him."

"He might not want to be talked to."

"Fine. If he says something like, 'I don't want to talk with you', then politely excuse yourself. But who knows," Jesse said, her arm crossing over her chest. Then, her voice quieting down, she added, "And to be honest, I think he needs a little more saving right now."

Harry let out a sigh, dropping his hands from the keyboard. He stood up, and after a moment, he told his daughter, "I was about to get work done, you know."

"Yes, of course – messing around with the Wifi totally counts as work. Very important," Jesse deadpanned. Then, flashing Harry a smile, she said, "Now go talk to him. _Go."_

So Harry went, vaguely remembering the last time his daughter had told him to leave in such a manner like this one. (When Jesse was in middle school – or at least, in her middle school _years_ , she had gotten it into her head that Harry needed to get back to dating. She begged Harry to ask her biology teacher out – although this particular protest lasted only for a few days before Jesse decided that it was all hopeless. Besides, Harry had the feeling that Jesse didn't really want her father to date anyone new – they were both still trying to get over the fact that Jesse's mother was gone.)

But this wasn't the same situation. It _wasn't_.

Harry shook away the intruding thoughts and instead focused on finding Barry instead. He knew he wouldn't have to look too hard – but either way, he still ended up catching Barry by surprise (somehow). It might have had something to do with the fact that Harry was moving quietly – or (and probably more likely) it might have been the fact that Barry was completely oblivious to everything else around him.

Harry found Barry staring at the ground outside. He was scuffing a sneakered foot against the ground, a sad, glazed look over his eyes. Again, Harry felt a strange stab of pity in his chest – this, in turn, might have been what finally compelled him to speak out.

"Allen."

Barry reacted instantly, his eyes widening and stumbling back a half-step. " _Shi_ – oh. Harry." The tips of Barry's ears colored a brilliant scarlet color, though Harry pretended not to notice.

"What are you doing here?" they asked in unison.

"I asked first." Barry said quickly.

"Are you – never mind." Harry pocketed his hands. "I came to…check on you." (Well, at least he got the words out.)

Barry's eyebrows flew up. "Check…on me?" he asked doubtfully. Then, he blinked. "You…I'm fine."

"You're fine," Harry echoed.

Barry nodded quickly. "Yeah." He smiled weakly, though Harry couldn't be bothered to return it. "Just a little…tired. I might just…end up heading out." He rubbed a hand behind his neck, his eyes lowering to the ground.

The two stood in silence.

"How…long did you know Jay?" Barry asked at last.

"Personally? Only a while. I already knew about him – knew about his powers and his speed. I had to keep track of who was affected by the particle accelerator explosion," Harry answered.

"But…were you guys ever…friends?"

Harry pressed his lips together. "If you're looking for more reasons to blame yourself, Allen, then you're going to have to ask someone else."

Barry's shoulders dropped. "I'm not trying to –" he started to mumble, but Harry didn't let him finish.

"You are," Harry interrupted. "That's why you're standing out here."

"Caitlin was devastated. She already lost her husband – and now _this_ – I could have gotten to Jay or at least have warned him about Zoom –" Barry let out a shuddery breath, pushing his hands up to his face. "Or I could have just listened to you and go to the portal faster – or maybe –"

"Allen. _Barry_ ," Harry interrupted, his hands shooting out to grab Barry's wrists. He dragged Barry's hands away from his face, and once they were at his sides, Harry let go. Barry only stared back at Harry, eyes red and wide and stunned.

"You already told Jay that Zoom was coming," Harry said firmly. "You stayed behind because you were trying to save that other person in the lair. You didn't know that Zoom was going to come through the portal. You did everything you thought was right – you can't be blamed entirely for that. There was nothing more you could do."

Barry shook his head miserably. "You told me that we needed to get out –"

"And we did."

"We could have warned Jay sooner –"

"Barry, you're looking to blame yourself when there's no blame to go around –"

" _Don't_ tell me that!" Barry snapped, and his voice was suddenly so loud – so _thunderous_ – that Harry actually stopped talking. He stared at the younger man, whose face had darkened only in a matter of seconds. "Zoom's _already_ faster than me – and this _one_ time, Harry – this _one time_ , I thought that _maybe_ we had a chance of at least getting rid of him. I thought that at least _this_ time, I would be able to outrun him and – and – we could somehow be _safe_ for a while." Barry let out an incredulous, almost disbelieving laugh. It didn't suit him, and Harry felt something cold rush over his spine. " _I'm_ supposed to be fast enough! I've worked hard at it, but it's _never_ –" He broke himself off, frustrated.

" _Damn_ it!" Barry exclaimed angrily, pushing his hands up to the back of his neck. " _Damn it_!" His bellows echoed around the hallway for a heart-pounding second – and for a while, Harry could only stop and stare. He hadn't ever seen Barry this frustrated before. And, well, it didn't _surprise_ him that Barry was lashing out like this – he figured that even someone as innocent-like as Barry Allen could have a breaking point – and yet –

"You're being unfair."

"I'm not. I'm supposed to save people. God, I'm supposed to _save_ people and I couldn't do anything about Jay," Barry said, shaking his head angrily to himself. "He was literally _right_ there in front of the portal – why couldn't I just –"

"You saved my daughter."

Barry stopped. "I could have saved one more life," he said softly.

"But you started with my daughter," Harry countered.

"I've saved more people before."

"But this was Zoom we were against, Barry. Not just another meta."

Barry let out a frustrated sound – something stuck between a growl and a sob, Harry couldn't tell which. Whatever it was – _whichever_ it was – it sounded heartbroken.

"I'm…" Barry's voice drifted. He rubbed his brow, an anxious tic in his movements. "I'm supposed to be a hero, Harry. Someone who's…supposed to _be_ there for people. I mean, Iris already told me about what happened in Central City while I was gone – and it's a mess already. I could have at least made up for it all by –"

"You're destroying yourself over _that_?" Harry asked incredulously. When Barry didn't respond, Harry let out a small sigh. "Barry, the definition of being a hero is – and I'm sure you would know this by now – not just a singular thing. It doesn't mean…rescuing whole cities. Or whole worlds. Or that extra person." Harry stopped. Barry was looking down at the ground now, his sneakers moving back and forth against the ground.

"Being a hero has a wider range than that," Harry added softly. "It's…doing –" He hesitated, unsure what else to say. And then he saw how Barry's eyes flicked up – how for a moment, the speedster seemed to respond.

 _To hell with pride,_ a small voice (that sounded suspiciously like Jesse's) whispered in Harry's head. _He needs your help right now._

"It's doing the best you can."

Harry let his words hang in the air. They seemed to ring in the space between them – and once they were uttered, Harry had half the mind to turn around and forget he had ever said anything. He was sure that he'd just have to force this memory out later. Or maybe Barry would act as though he hadn't heard Harry. Or maybe both men would be too embarrassed to mention having this discussion ever again. Which would, in all honesty, suit Harry just fine.

 _But would it really?_ the (same Jesse-esque) voice whispered in Harry's head.

 _Go to your room,_ Harry fired back.

"…I think that's…" Barry sounded hoarse. He rubbed at his face, and then, with a brief laugh, he murmured, "I think that's one of the most unusual things you've ever said to me."

"It's been an unusual day."

"Yeah." Barry forced a smile, only to have it quickly falter into nothingness again. In a quieter voice, he repeated, "Yeah." He let his hands drop limply to his sides. "Thanks."

Harry lifted a shoulder. "You're welcome. And." He paused. "Thank you. For saving my daughter. If it means anything –"

Barry's lips twitched into a wider, more hopeful smile. "Trust me, Harry. It means something." He stopped. "Your words, I mean. Or whatever you were going to say after that."

Harry managed a dry smile. "Nice to know." He gave a small nod to Barry, and trying his best to act as casually as he could, Harry turned to walk back to the cortex.

"So," Jesse said when Harry returned, "how'd it go? Did you guys talk some of it out?"

"Yes," Harry replied, keeping his voice levelled as he sat down at his desk.

" _And?_ "

"And what?"

Jesse sighed. "And how'd it go?"

"In all honesty?"

" _Yes_."

Harry reached for his computer. He started to type up his password. He heard Jesse sigh dramatically from above him. "I'm waiting for your answer, Daddy," she said tiredly.

Harry looked up. "In all honesty," he said slowly, "it wasn't half bad."

"There," Jesse grinned, satisfied. "Was that so hard?"

"Not at all, Jesse Quick."

"You should talk to him more often. Maybe even hang out."

"Now _that_ is just wishful thinking."

* * *

 **A/N -** But hey, at least we've still got Harry! (And now Harry's back with his daughter - thank _God!_ Now we can get happy Harry and Jesse hugs and Wells family fun time and some great bonding amongst Team STAR Labs! And then we can all be happy! *whispers* Can...we...just...be...happy?)

Reviews are always great! Constructive criticism is alright, but flames are not!


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